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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29029401">Dust motes dancing in a sunbeam</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/KuanYin/pseuds/KuanYin'>KuanYin</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Cormoran Strike Series - Robert Galbraith</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>First Kiss</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 04:00:55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,809</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29029401</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/KuanYin/pseuds/KuanYin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Hi - this is my first time at creative writing.    Happy for any critique.  I love these characters and have been reading a lot of stories here.  Decided to give it a go.   </p>
<p>This is when Corm and Robin have 'the talk' .</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Robin Ellacott &amp; Cormoran Strike</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>42</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Dust motes dancing in a sunbeam</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Strike sighed and came off the phone informing Robin that their newest recruit was off sick following a row with her boyfriend which had ended their relationship.</p>
<p>Robin also sighed shaking her head – “what happened this time?"</p>
<p>“Something to do with the dishwasher, and tidying up after himself – I didn’t really pay attention” replied Strike.</p>
<p>“Gosh, it doesn’t take much for some people to fall out.”  Robin gave a small laugh and continued “if we fell out every time we didn’t agree with each other we would never be talking!”</p>
<p>Strike laughed in agreement, considering Robin’s off the cuff remark.  Unlike other women in his life who had relished the drama of fighting,  Robin preferred peace, never holding a grudge, and was always ready to make up.  It was he who could be grumpy and moody.   “I suppose me sacking you right before your wedding was the worst thing I’ve done?”</p>
<p>Robin shifted her eyes from the computer to Strike’s face.  He wasn’t smiling, but at the same time his gaze was soft.   In a flash of her minds-eye Robin saw herself striding across the floor, throwing her arms around him and declaring that the worst thing he could ever do is not be in her life.  But, instead Robin began to stand and move round the desk, perching on the corner “yeah, that was bad” and with a small humourless laugh finished her sentence “…. you broke my heart.”    She paused waiting for him, then after a moment smiled “ …. but we would have made up sooner had the villain of our story not interfered.”</p>
<p>Strike leaned back in his chair looking thoughtful “Hmmm … the villain in our story …. he wasn’t a fan was he?”    Robin laughed “no, he certainly wasn’t and was really jealous of you thinking we were having an affair – even shouting at me at the wedding.  When we were in the Caribbean on my so-called honeymoon he watched me all the time and kept checking my phone – desperate for any evidence that you and me were .…. well, never mind – it was pretty awful”.  Robin stopped, remembering the frustration not being free to call Strike.  Unconsciously Robin gave a deep sigh, lowered her voice slightly and went on “….well, I showed him and managed to call you in secret from the hotel anyway!”    </p>
<p>Strikes voice jumped Robin out of her  thoughts  “What?   You called me?   I didn’t get a call!?”    As he asked the question he watched as Robin’s face went from a faraway thoughtful look to one of apprehension.  Robin said nothing.   Strike stood up and came round his desk.    “Please Robin, you said you called – when?”</p>
<p>Robin swallowed.  She had to tell him.   She needed this relationship to have no secrets, and this one was like the elephant in the room. </p>
<p>“I … “   Robin cleared her throat looking into his eyes and immediately shifting to look elsewhere.  Strike began to get a unpleasant feeling in his guts … or was it his heart. </p>
<p>“I couldn’t call you from my mobile because he was watching me all the time.   Then one evening he crashed out early.   I said I was going for an evening walk.    I walked to the hotel”.   By now Robin’s voice was clear, emotionless, straight to the facts.   “I know our office number by heart and I know it goes to your mobile after hours.   I must have called you British time about the middle of the night”.    She looked up at him, her face impassive.</p>
<p>Strike was feeling worse – he knew Robin and he knew something was coming that he didn’t want to hear.</p>
<p>“I called from the hotel …. and …… and  a woman answered your phone.  It was obvious you were together.   I didn’t leave a message”.</p>
<p>Moments of stillness lay heavily between them now, stillness broken only by the distant rumble of traffic from the street below.  Robin watched dust motes dancing in the sunlight at the window, with no desire to break the silence or Strike’s train of thought.  Strike raked his hands through his hair and rubbed his face.  With a sick feeling he realised that Robin had reached out to him days after her wedding and that she had spoken to ….  to …..  oh fuck …. oh fuck. </p>
<p>Strike then lifted his eyes to Robin knowing that if he didn’t explain now this would always be a weight in their relationship,  always holding them back.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry.”</p>
<p> “For what?    You can sleep with whoever you like.”</p>
<p>Strike ignored Robin’s sharp retort going on “… at your wedding I thought there was something between us – when we hugged, you know on the steps, the way you looked at me, I thought there was something.    I went back to London and waited.   I holed up in a Travelodge to get some rest and avoid the press.   I waited for you to call me – I just waited, slept  and drank.  Eventually I called your home thinking you’d be there sorting things out, but your dad told me you were on honeymoon and wondered why was I looking for you.”</p>
<p>Strike stood now and paced in a small circle.  He looked at Robin who was clearly not making any connection between thinking they had something to him screwing someone else.   Strike made a gesture of confusion with his hands, “you went on your honeymoon …. I had imagined you going back to Marsham and telling your folks that the wedding was to be annulled and you were coming back to London …. and well, to be honest, to be with me.”     Strike paused looking at the floor.</p>
<p> Robin’s breathing had become harder and her colour heightened.  When she spoke her voice was low and steady, controlling her emotions.</p>
<p> “So, why the fuck do you think I called you as soon as I could – I needed to hear your voice, to anchor me, to remind me that it was you I wanted to be with – to tell you that the marriage was to be annulled.  To tell you that I was coming home early.   But you were fucking someone else.“</p>
<p>Robin was standing how – her feet firmly placed, but  tears building on her lashes.</p>
<p>Strike turned to face Robin squarely, feeling too defensive to notice what Robin was actually telling him.   His voice was raised,  “what was I supposed to think.   You were on honeymoon with that prick after everything he’d done to you – I thought you were stronger than that – I couldn’t believe that you just complied and went along with him – I needed you to be the Robin I know and stand up for what you wanted.  But there you were on honeymoon probably having a wonderful time and I was in a shit hotel feeling like a love-sick dick.”</p>
<p>They both stood staring.  Robin, wiping away a tear spoke, breaking the silence and the stilted atmosphere.    “I wasn’t on honeymoon or having a wonderful time – I was on a break to get away from my family, his family, the press and for him and me to agree on separation.”  </p>
<p>Robin moved towards the door “I need tea – let’s have tea”.   Strike nodded and sat back on the edge of the desk, white knuckles gripping the desk, his mind whirling with this thundering new information.   Robin left the room and waited for the kettle to boil.  As she filled the mugs Strike came through – they were both calm now.    “Let’s just sit here” suggested Strike pointing to the sofa “and sort all this out honestly”.   Robin smiled and they sat either end facing each other.    “What happened then – how did you go from being a “love-sick dick” to …. well you know?”</p>
<p>Strike stared into his mug not smiling.   “This is not the proudest moment of my life Robin – I regretted what I’d done almost immediately, but that regret is nothing to how much I regret it right now.”  Strike looked up at Robin who nodded slightly, acknowledging that she believed him. </p>
<p>“Wardle phoned me to see how I was doing and we agreed to meet for dinner – I hadn’t eaten in about 3 days.   So I went to dinner and he had invited this woman who I had met once before.”  I was so angry at you and sad that I’d lost you.   She was just there, all over me.   I had drank a lot and it  was a one-night stand.   She never told me about the phone call and I never saw her again.   In a weird way I blamed you that I had fucked her about as well.”    Strike paused waiting to see if Robin wanted to speak, when she didn’t he went on “I just decided to put my barriers up Robin – I couldn’t allow myself to be with you every day and watch you going home every night to a man I had no respect for.   To be jealous and sad.”</p>
<p> “Like a love-sick dick?” smiled Robin.    </p>
<p> “Yeah – something like that” Strike chuckled and nodded.</p>
<p>Robin took a deep breath.  “My turn.  After I heard her voice I pretty much cried all the way back along the beach – by the way can we never go to the Caribbean – it’s a bit shit.”  </p>
<p>“Agreed” smiled Strike, thinking he would agree to just about anything Robin wanted right now.</p>
<p>“When I got back Matthew was very unwell – you remember I told you – and he was delirious.   He said something like - Robin, please don’t leave me – and me thinking he meant not leave him that evening I said I wouldn’t leave him.   But, he meant not leave him at all.     So, with you effectively out of the picture, I didn’t feel I had many choices so I decided to stay with him and give it go.   And then I just put my barriers up between you and me to try not be a love-sick dick.”</p>
<p>They sat in peace, drinking tea and reflecting on what had just been said out loud.</p>
<p>“Do you want a top-up?” Strike asked getting to his feet, taking Robin’s mug. </p>
<p>Robin also stood  waiting for Strike to put the kettle on before asking “Do you think it would be ok if we had a hug now – I think there’s more to talk through, but it can probably wait?”</p>
<p>Without replying and before Robin finished talking, Strike pulled Robin into his arms and they held each other like their lives depended on it.</p>
<p>“What a waste of time ….. not talking …… misunderstanding …. Robin, I’m so sorry”. </p>
<p>“I know” replied Robin, lifting her chin and staring in to his eyes.   “I’m sorry too – I just wish …. well, we’re here now?”</p>
<p>Strike stroked Robin’s hair “yeah, we are and I don’t want to be anywhere else Robin. “</p>
<p>Strike lowered his head slowly and they kissed.  </p>
<p>“I love you Robin Venetia Ellacot.  Stay with me."</p>
<p>“I love you Cormonan Blue Strike, and I will never leave you.”</p>
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